Over the weekend, I flew out to Baltimore for a blog conference known as Bloggy Boot Camp. After the one girl in the world who I wanted to meet wasn’t able to make it to Las Vegas last October, I figured I really had no choice. If I was going to stand next to Jill in real life and smell her hair, I had to get on a plane.

Jill's Hair: Kinda like what unicorns & rainbows & spring time all together smells like.
I motivated my pregnant self out of the house and flew 14 hours in three days. I am glad that I did too. Baltimore was great. Going to blog conferences renews my faith that the on-line community is not a group of freakishly scary men who have assumed women’s identities in order to befriend one another.
To prepare myself for the trip, I re-read Mama Kat’s Blog Conference Do’s and Don’ts post beforehand. I needed a checklist; a guide to show me the path to blog conference success.
I did my best to follow Mama Kat’s advice…
-Do check your expectations at the door.
Impossible for me to accomplish. I had expectations for everyone in my life. Happily, my expectations were exceeded. The women I met over the weekend were genuine, passionate about their blogs and their personal lives, and just as entertaining in real life as they are on-line.
-Do bring your computer.
Check. Considering I have a hard time going to the bathroom without my iPhone, I came prepared. Besides, how else could I have sent out such mind-blowing tweets during the conference?
Sitting next to @thenagainphoto at #BloggyBootCamp. We have the same HP computer. Pretty sure that makes us related. 10:28 AM Mar 6th via web
When I finally meet @ScaryMommy in person, I am guessing her first tweet will be, damn, Fran is so much cuter in person than I imagined, & not, she kinda looks like a man. 1:45 PM Mar 5th via web
-Do open yourself up.
I am fairly sure that I impressed hordes of strangers with my vast knowledge of everything useless. As a public service, here are a few of my conversation starters:
- “Who saw the Shear Genius episode on Bravo where the contestants had to cut both the dogs’ and their owners’ hair? I tell you, that was television programming at its finest.”
- “Yeah, I know, that’s so funny. When I was in prison the first time I…”
- “I get so sick and tired of all these ‘nice’ people! Honestly! Be mean or something!”"
- “You’re really wonderful. I don’t care what everyone else says about you.”
- “How cute are you? You remind me of my grandma.”
People aren’t likely to forget me.
{I want you to know that I found that dog clip on video for you, Kristin. You’re welcome.}
-Do introduce yourself by name AND by blog…or twitter ID
I followed this one to the hilt. While everyone else brought business cards to pass out, I felt like I needed to stand out from the crowd. Plus, since Kacey wasn’t with me, I wanted people to feel like they were getting a sense of both writers behind Mayhem & Moxie.
So, for Kacey, I made 200 of the following:

Kacey On A Stick
Granted, my kids and I had to eat a ton of Popsicles, but it was totally worth it. I pasted a picture of Kacey next to a stuffed goat on all 200 sticks. To ensure people really got a sense of who she is, I included her home, work and cell phone numbers, home address, Twitter ID, Facebook URL, personal e-mail, and an array of little known facts about my friend.
It is almost like she was there.
-Bring Mama Kat gifts.
Quasi-fail. Although I did not have anything for Mama Kat to unwrap, I am hoping that she will be completely fulfilled by my willingness to declare that I was simply in Baltimore to act as her groupie. As an added bonus, I encouraged anyone who wanted to contact me to pick up one of Mama Kat’s business cards and find a link to my blog from hers.

Giving just comes naturally to me.
-Don’t worry about how fat you are.
This one was easy. I’m pregnant. As soon as I patted my belly a bit and talked about my delivery date, people just nodded and smiled. Fat rules don’t apply to pregnant people.
I have now decided that even if I am not pregnant at future conferences, I am going to stuff a pillow under my clothes and pretend like I am. Who wants to deal with worrying about their weight?
-Do blog about your experience.
Done.
-Francesca
Want more Bloggy Boot Camp? You can find pictures from last weekend here on Flickr, see the veins popping out of my neck at midnight on Saturday night here, and meet the girl who, when faced with my utter lack of ability to navigate to the airport using a map, still managed to like me. God bless Sara.