Over time, I have come to appreciate that there are two types of people in blogland: bloggers and writers. I am a blogger. We are a fun loving bunch of people who usually fill their posts with pictures and can (hopefully) make you laugh. The latter group, the writers, are a different breed entirely. Their posts move you with simply their words; the true talent that they have is apparent throughout their blog.
CK from Bad Mommy Moments is definitely one of the writers that I am describing. I was referred to CK’s site initially by the fabulous Kathy B! from the world according to me. Kathy showed me that there is very good reason to be smitten with CK’s writing….
10 – USE THE BATHROOM BEFORE WE LEAVE. You don’t have to? Right. We all know you like to explore uncharted public toilets. But all they have at the Farmers’ Market are those stank portaJons. And don’t even think about squatting behind a tree. There will be no emergency-in-the-buff around the produce, got it?
9 – SHUT UP. I’d say it out loud if I thought you’d hear me over your crap kid “music” and screaming in the backseat.
8 – GET BACK HERE: This place is packed and I want you close. Excuse me? The correct answer is, “I’m sorry, Mama. I won’t run off again.” NOT, “But I saw Cinderella by the peaches.”
Okay, Okay. I’m sorry. You’re right. There is a little girl by the peaches wearing a Cinderella dress. No, you may not wear yours next week. We don’t wear costumes in public and…WAIT!
7 – DON’T YOU DARE TELL THAT LITTLE GIRL SHE’S NOT ALLOWED TO DRESS LIKE CINDERELLA IN PUBLIC! Sh*t…
6 – YOU NEED TO APOLOGIZE: Not me. You. Fine. I’m sorry I said a bad word. Now you apologize. To the little girl. Not the back of my leg.
5 – WATCH WHERE YOU’RE GOING. Seriously, do you use your eyes? Are you sure? Because you just climbed into a stroller that didn’t look like ours. And it had a dog in it.
4 – STOP WHINING: 1) We’re not going home because you’re embarrassed. 2) You’re not hot; it’s 75 in the shade. 3) I don’t believe for a second that you really have to go. Well, the portaJon’s right over there. No? Then squeeze, baby. Squeeze.
3 – DON’T EAT THAT! I know it’s a free sample. I know you can decide for yourself and…you know what? Fine. Go ahead. Just stop whining. Taste good? No? Well, if you let me finish I would’ve told you it was a sample of soap.
2 – SHUT UP. Some day I’ll say it out loud. For now I’ll just scream it in my head to the tune of that crap kids’ “music” I can’t stop tapping my fingers to.
1 – IT’S NOT A RACE. I’ve got bags, your sister and the stroller. Of course you beat me to the house. You shouldn’t be running up the stairs in the first place. Unless you’re going to bed. If that’s the case, on your mark, get set…
Ha ha ha, I laughed all the way through!
Great post. =0)
Erica
[Reply]
I think I say, Seriously! What is your deal?!? at least a million times a day.
The no whining thing too.
Maybe we need a new way to communicate that so they will LISTEN!
[Reply]
I totally ignore my mom when she says these things.
[Reply]
My folks always said… "Don't make me stop this car!"
))
Seriously… like they'd ever pul over and stop
Kiss your kids for me xo
[Reply]
Yep, now that writer is definitely a mommy. I can't count how many times I want to tell my kid to shut up, of course I never would. Funny post.
[Reply]
OMGosh! Hahahaha HILARIOUS!!
[Reply]
I found your blog just now by accident. I think I'll be back. What you said about bloggers and writers is spot on. I'm of the blogger species myself. However, I have some blog friends who write so well they move me.
[Reply]
You've been listening in on me! One thing I've said recently that I never expected to come out of my mouth is "pick your nunchuck up out of the floor before somebody steps on it"
Thanks Wii.
[Reply]
That.is.the.best.post.ever!
[Reply]
So, SO true. And so hilarious (to the outside reader…maybe not so much to the mommy).
[Reply]